I have to admit it, my mind is continually whirling. Like a hamster hopped up on crack who can’t get off the wheel, my mind spins fever pitch most of the time. Overthinking is a hobby of mine. No, make that a passion. Think, think and then rethink what I just thought and then self-analyze it to death, beat it with a stick, then re-analyze it and then further beat it (or tenderize it as I lovingly refer to my beating a dead horse tendencies) until I can not get one more thing out of the carcass of that thought.
To say I am self-aware is probably an understatement. I have a high emotional IQ or EQ as they refer to it, I think (no pun intended). Which is a good thing until it paralyzes me from living my life. Oh, I love to sit around and think about things, ride my bike and think about things and hike and think about things. Why was I in a bad mood earlier? My friend was a little short with me today- did they have a bad day or did I do something? The dog is looking at me cross-eyed – did I feed him or is he having a bad day or did I do something?
Before I know it, the day is over, it’s time to go to bed as the hamster just keeps running madly until I finally drop off to sleep. Squeak, squeak, squeak -silence. Though I don’t think my mind ever shuts off, it just quiets down and lets me get some rest. And never a deep sleep type of rest – it’s the kind that wakes me up several times of night, it looks at the clock, sighs mightily because there are four more hours until the conscious thoughts can punch the clock and allow the subconscious to rest.
I believe I’m at a point where I need to quit thinking so much and start doing something. For over two years, I have had an idea for a small business on the side in which I design and create functional art in the form of furniture I either upcycle from old things or design and build myself (my woodworking skills are beginner so this would start small) and using my photography to create unique nature-themed and affordable landscape/architectural themed photographs which I mat and/or frame for sale as well as designing and creating hardscape items such as garden arbors, benches, etc. for the yard. For my Entrepreneurship class, I even wrote the business plan for this idea and got a 100% and a note from my instructor that it was a great idea, I should implement it.
So yesterday, our Ohio weather had us sequestered in the house again and I was growing restless. Then I remembered my business idea so but last night, I grabbed one of my many notebooks and started making lists of things I need to do (1. Find where I saved the business plan. 2. Learn more about woodworking 3. Start scouring junk stores for cheap but usable pieces as well as old picture frames, etc.). I can think about starting my own business again or I can actually start taking steps toward creating the business. Just thinking about it, nothing is going to happen and one day I will wake up and think, damn, why didn’t I do that? I had great ideas? Hence, another regret. A little bit like writing, if I don’t actually sit down and work on my novel, it will never get finished much less the daunting prospect of finding a publisher. Baby steps are better than no steps.
So, in saying all that, I decided also I want to focus on more fun – again this focuses on my business idea which uses my love of art, furniture, building things, photography and tapping into my eccentric tastes along with my desire to not be tied down to a storefront. At least a physical one. The marketing possibilities are endless and since this is a side business, I don’t have to worry about replacing my income. Though if I did, that would be a fabulous benefit; however, it is a labor of love and not just focused on the financial outcomes. All my life, I’ve focused on the money, how much money I could make if I did this or worked here or started that business. This time, I’m doing it for love of creating and to have fun and meet new people.
Well, I’ve spent enough time today talking about all of this so now I’m going to go out and start scouring some shops as well as hitting the home improvement stores. I can think while I’m driving but it’s time for action.
Oooh this is exciting!