When a Problem Isn’t Problematic…

A few weeks ago,  I had a rough day emotionally and decided I needed to see my therapist, a lovely woman about my age who has helped me through quite a bit in my life.  I’ll call her Cathy.  My appointment was this past Monday and when I woke up that morning, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what was really my issue two weeks ago.  I know I was missing my mother, I felt a little out of place in my life with my girls grown up and most likely since I am going through ‘the change’, I was probably erratically hormonal.  I’m finding more and more my issues are just an unpredictable hormone swing that makes me feel like something small is the end of the world.  

Since it was too late to cancel the appointment, I decided that I would go and talk about this next phase of my life which I sometimes struggle with figuring out what just is ‘next’.  I found out the last time I had an appointment was January of 2015.  I was surprised it was that long ago.  I usually see her at least 1-2 times a year or more if there is something major going on in my life.  So initially I gave her the run down of what had been happening since then and she asked me why I was here today.

I was honest with Cathy and told her I had a bad day a few weeks ago and now I wasn’t really sure what the real issue was at that time.  I went on to tell her that at times, I felt weird or out of place because mainly I only wanted to spend time with my immediate family and one of my closest friends who works with me.  I’m not socially awkward but I’ve gotten extremely selective.  I think oh I’d like to have lunch with this friend or maybe I should go out with that friend but then I never do it.  Even if I’m home alone, I end up taking the dog for a walk, riding my bike solo, reading a book or watching a movie that I would be made fun of normally.  I simply prefer my own company if my immediate family are not close by.  I’m not interested in going out with a bunch of girls to a bar or club.  Actually I avoid anything with crowds for the most part.

She just shrugged and told me there isn’t anything wrong with how I socialized and spent my time as I wasn’t doing it out of fear or because I am socially awkward.   So I moved on to the act that I’ve reached the majority of my life goals outside of traveling here and there which makes me feel like I’m floating out at sea with just a life preserver and no direction.  Again Cathy shrugged and told me that really I was in a great place in my life.  That I had time and the means to really discover myself and what I like, dislike and where I might want to head in the future in terms of goals.  Then she said “it’s a problem that isn’t really problematic”.  Or in other words, it feels like it’s a problem but if I look at it in a different light, I will see it’s really a blessing.  

Always, I am amazed by how a simple shift in how I think about something can make all the difference in the world.  While not having a defined direction for what’s ‘next’ makes me feel very uncomfortable if I consider it a negative, if I just adjust my thinking to wow, I can do so many things or try so many new things, the problem disappears and a positive blessing comes out of the same situation.  I can choose to feel bad or I can choose to feel positive.  What felt like a problem isn”t a problem at all if you look at it differently. Attitude shift and the world takes on a new light.  

I have to remember that phrase.  “It’s a problem that isn’t really problematic.”  The next time I’m feeling down, or upset or whatever, I will have to look and see if there really is a problem or if it is just my way of looking at the situation or my attitude.  A small shift in my thought process made all the difference.  I suppose you really can think yourself happy.  It is all in how you choose to see the world and your life.  Choose well.