If you have ever or do suffer from depression, you know what havoc this complete bitch can do to your life and your happiness. Six weeks ago, I found this TED talk by Dr. Stephen Ilardi and it has CHANGED my life (https://youtu.be/drv3BP0Fdi8). If Dr. Ilardi had a fan club, I would join, he is my hero. Yes, my hero is a profession at the University of Kansas. Thank you, Dr. Ilardi, from the bottom of my heart. I’m totally going to write him a fan letter when I finish this blog post.
After watching his TED talk, I researched some of the six steps he outlines in his book, The Depression Cure. The one I started doing that very day was taking Omega 3’s as he suggests in his book, but I messed up and was only taking half the recommended dose. I’m sensitive to medications due to being hypothyroid, so it was probably just as well. In late August, I had taken two online depression test which both came back ‘moderate depression’. Disclaimer – Use these tests only for a marker and not as an actual diagnosis. The one I put weight on is the “Psychology Today” depression test because there are 120 questions meaning it’s more in depth and is put out there by a reputable magazine. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/health/depression-test. If you take the test and score within a certain range, they will suggest you see your doctor. Please do so, especially if it’s serious.
But anyway, the first two of the six steps I put into place was taking Omega 3’s daily (accidentally 1/2 dose) and at least 30 minutes of vigorous cardio (brisk walking/jog – for me) three times a week. When I took the one test at http://www.psycom.net on 8/31/2018, it showed me at moderate depression. The Psychology Today test I took that day showed me the same results. Ever since I was actually diagnosed with depression at age 35, I’ve used these marker tests to just gauge if I needed to see my doctor and/or therapist. In all honesty, looking back, I’ve struggled with depression from childhood until just recently. That’s around forty years of my life.
A few weeks after starting the two steps of Dr. Ilardi’s book, my depression for the Psycom.net test dropped to minimal depression. It had never been that low. ‘Mild depression’ had been the lowest. Same with the Psychology Today test. I retook that test as well and for the first time ever, it came up with a score of “12” in a scale of 0-100. The higher the score, the more you rated on the depression scale. The words “You show absolutely no signs of depression” underneath my 11/25/2018 score shocked me.
Now six weeks in, I’ve added another one of Dr. Ilardi’s steps where you stop your tendency to ruminate about things in your life, especially negative ones. I’m still working on this because it really is a bad habit especially of those who have been struggling with depression for a long time. You catch yourself doing it and distract yourself or tell yourself to stop, focusing your attention on something positive. It’s that proverbial snowball turning into an avalanche kind of things. Starts small but takes on a life of its own.
The other step I added is light exposure especially in winter. Though I have yet to order the light box he recommends, but I’ve been wearing my sunglasses less right now during these bleaker Ohio winter months. I wouldn’t recommend this mid-day in summer, but right now sunlight is at a premium. And it seems to boost my mood as well. We spend so much time indoors but our eyes/body/brains need some sun. He explains it in his book.
So today I took the Psychology Today depression test again. I scored a 12 on 11/25 and today, 12/22, the day after the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, I scored a 3! These steps are working! I’m not even full into them or even taking the full dose of Omega’s 3’s yet and the difference is staggering. I can’t wait to write Dr. Ilardi and tell him. Along with a string of ‘thank you, thank you, thank you, bless you’. I feel like a different person.
Okay I’m going to take the smaller quiz from Psycom.net and see what it says. Hold on I’ll be right back…. NO DEPRESSION!
The first time ever it said that. Even back in 11/25 it came up ‘minimal depression’. Amazing. I was skeptical about The Depression Cure and I receive no money or benefit for recommending this book or to view the TED talk at least. I just want people suffering from this shitty, time-stealing mental illness to at least explore the steps outlined in the book. Fish oil isn’t hugely expensive and I buy huge bottles of it at Sam’s for less than $20. I don’t even eat fish or like the taste but I don’t get the burps, etc. from it. I really thing the Omega-3’s has been the key component in my recovery. The other steps have also helped but Dr. Ilardi explains in scientific terms why we have too many Omega 6’s in our diets and not enough Omega 3’s.
If I knew this back when I was a teenager or young adult, how my life might have been different. Depression has robbed me of motivation, confidence, happiness, and time. So much time. I’ve been beating myself up about not following my dreams. Earlier this year, I gave up on writing a fiction novel after not hearing back from the first and only publisher I sent it to. I self-published it and didn’t even promote my book. Now, I’m totally rewriting it, using a different format and really working at. Crafting. The story and making sure every sentence is my best. Before I was just worried about getting the word count where I wanted it and just getting done.
That’s what depression does, it steals the joy out of your life. It robs you of enjoyment when you do the things you love. It puts you in a grey cloud bubble where you stalk around the house feeling put upon, sad, despondent and worthless. Then you turn around and beat yourself up for being that way. But it’s a chemical imbalance of some sort. It’s physiological and not just psychological. I’m not a doctor but it’s explained more in the book.
Please check out this book. I’m cautious to say I’m ‘cured’ because I’m always a little skeptical but right at this moment, I’m for the first time in many, many years, actually decades, not depressed and life is so much better. I feel like a new person. My life feels like a new life and nothing really has changed. I’ve already put 20k words down in my novel rewrite but most importantly, I’m enjoying writing again. I’ve even rewritten half of the first chapter. Tomorrow I’m going to sit down and edit the third and fourth chapters.
The crazy thing is when I would try to edit before when I was depressed, I would get upset at myself, think I completely suck and give up for awhile. Now, I see where something might not flow very well or I wrote a crappy paragraph but instead of giving up, I just fix it and go on. I don’t berate myself and tell myself ‘You’re a miserable writer, you suck.” I just fix it. I don’t quit, I don’t even want to quit. That’s such a strange feeling. But again, it makes me a little sad thinking of all I’ve lost out on in my life because of depression.
I’m even excited for the new year. I’m excited for today and tomorrow. I’m actually excited about things again, anything. I’ve been living in this dull grey existence for so long. I attributed it to middle age. Been there done that, nothing is thrilling or exciting anymore. Again, here is where depression was robbing me of my enjoyment of life. Yes, I’ve experienced a lot in my life but there is so much more out there I haven’t. A few months ago, I had 0 desire to explore or find new things. Today, I can’t wait to find new adventures. Night and day. Crazy isn’t it?
Well, I have already gone on enough about this new change in my life. I truly am going to write Dr. Ilardi a letter, some fan mail. Thank you for dedicating your time and energy into this research! And if you’re suffering from depression, check out this book and of course if you are in a doctor or therapist’s care, please talk to them before making any changes. If you decide to try The Depression Cure‘s six steps, I’d love to hear from you on your results. I pray they are as dramatic and positive as mine.
Xoxoxox – so much love to my fellow depression sufferers…